It’s always happy hour at UMass, if you’re a Democrat

Welcome to the Hack Hotline.

There has yet been another nationwide search at UMass, and the eminently qualified new hire is one Natalie Blais.

She used to be a Democrat state rep from Greenfield. Now she has been selected as “associate vice chancellor for university relations.”

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Again and again and again….

Last year, as a solon from Franklin County, Blais had a base pay of $81,657.11, as well as another $52,338.91 for assorted phony-baloney leadership titles and other perks.

"Last year, as a solon from Franklin County, Blais had a base pay of $81,657."

Total for Blais in 2025: $133,996.02.

Rep. Blais’ new job, in the UMass hackerama, pays her $340,000 a year.

A pay raise of more than $206,000!

Three-forty K – that’s considered an entry-level wage at UMass. At least for hacks.

And what are ex-Rep. Blais’ arduous duties since January, you ask.

“She oversees state and federal government relations for the campus, communicating to elected officials the value UMass Amherst provides to the people of Massachusetts.”

Yeah, right.

“She works closely with faculty, students and administrators to advance UMass Amherst’s broad government affairs agenda and oversee the UMass Amherst Henry M. Thomas III Center at Springfield.”

That “center” is described as “Creating Opportunities for the Next Generation of Leadership.”

Also known as more hacks. You know, like Lamar Cook. Hewas a career criminal from Springfield who was on the UMass payroll before he was allegedly started shipping kilos of cocaine to his boss Gov. Maura Healey’s office suite in Springfield, which by the way is not that far from the Henry M. Thomas III Center.

It’s important for all the ZooMass campuses to have “public servants” as immensely talented as Natalie Blais.

Take ZooMass Dartmouth’s esteemed law school.

They too employ a forgotten-but-not-gone Democrat hack ex-state rep – John Quinn. He struggles by on $292,084 a year.

Quinn must be a very busy guy, because his title on the school website is “Assistant Dean for Public Interest Law/Assistant Vice Chancellor for Government and Community Relations.”

Then you read down to his reputed job description, describinghim as “Assistant Dean of Public Interest Law Programs and External Relations,” in addition to which he is also “Assistant to the Chancellor for Government Relations.”

So which is it? Is Quinn the “assistant vice chancellor” or is he the “assistant to the chancellor?”

Overseeing this world-renowned cluster of glorified junior colleges is one Martin T. Meehan, the president of ZooMass, who makes $828,557 a year.

He used to be a Congressman, Democrat of course. That party affiliation is the sine qua non, to use a Latin phrase none of these clowns know the meaning of, despite their pretentious titles at what used to be known as normal schools.

Meehan is assisted in his strenuous chores by the General Counsel, David Lowy, who makes $509,205 a year. He too was selected after a nationwide search. He is a career hack – aren’t they all? – married to Ginny Buckingham.

Buckingham was the Bill Weld payroll patriot who was running Logan Airport when the 9/11 terrorists flew out of Boston to blow up the World Trade Center and murder 3000 Americans.

Mr. Ginny Buckingham was soon picked to go on the SJC. But later complications developed. They were romantic in nature.

The new governor, Maura Healey, wanted to give a consolation prize to her scorned Sapphic soulmate, Gabrielle Wolohojian, whom she’d unceremoniously dumped for a new gal pal 20 years younger than Wolohojian.

Maura needed to create a vacancy on the SJC to fill with her elderly erstwhile live-in heart throb.

Lowy was willing to bail early from the SJC (he was “only”making $213,920 a year). But first they had to get Lowy a new job – a “job,” as opposed to work.

They decided to dump Lowy at UMass. UMass always has room for one more.

ZooMass’ General Counsel at the time was an old-time crony of Meehan’s named Gerry Leone. He used to be the district attorney of Middlesex County. Did I mention that Leone too is a Democrat?

Leone decided to resign as DA and start making the big bucks inthe Dreaded Private Sector. He took early retirement and started grabbing a $57,850-a-year Group 4 pension as an alleged cop, like Cong. Bill “Double Dip” Delahunt, who for 15 years has been pocketing a $115,000 state pension kiss in addition to his Congressional salary.

It’s a hack thing, DA’s getting cop pension money, as if a Massachusetts district attorney faces anything more hazardous than an open bar.

Sadly for Leone, that Dreaded Private Sector thing didn’t work out. So he came crawling back to the trough where he’d spent his entire adult life. At the end of his ZooMass career, after Healey’s inauguration, Leone was making $371,421.75 a year as General Counsel.

Another good job at a good wage.

So Leone was pushed out the door, with an annual kiss in the mail of $200,592. And now Lowy at a half-million-plus a year gets to fatten his pension with his “three highest” years, while Maura’s ex gets his old hack sinecure on the SJC.

Another nationwide search!

I’m running out of space here on the Hack Hotline. There’s hardly even room to mention another recent headline from the giant Animal House frat that is ZooMass:

“UMass Chan Medical School police lieutenant facing drunken driving charge.”

The lieutenant, who is one of the lowest paid UMass employees at a mere $140,000 last year, is reported to have sideswiped three cars after gulping “two blueberry sour beers.”

It’s always Happy Hour at ZooMass. At least if you’re a Democrat.

To be continued….